towards Allah to hurt your father’s feelings, answer him back and speak to him in a disrespectful manner. It is impermissible for the children to side with one parent; they are both your Paradise and your Hell. Whoever gives any of them difficulty will be deserving of Hell. وَالْعِیاذُبِاللّٰہ It is impermissible to disobey Allah by obeying someone else.

For example, if a mother wishes for her son to cause harm to his father, and she will become upset if the son does not obey her, in this case it is acceptable for the mother to become upset. You must never treat your father with disrespect and obey commands like this. Likewise, do not obey the father when it comes to harming the mother. The scholars have stated that a mother is more deserving of service, and a father more deserving of respect, because he is a ruler over his mother too.^[1]

If your parents tell you to shave your beard, do not obey them

The renowned spiritual guide and leader of Ahl al-Sunnah, Maulana Ilyās ‘Aṭṭār Qādirī دَامَـتْ بَـرَكَـاتُـهُـمُ الْـعَـالِـيَـهْ states:

We have learned that if parents command you to do something impermissible, you must not obey them. If you obey them in performing impermissible actions, you will be sinful. For example, if your parents tell you to lie or shave your beard, do not obey them. Regardless of how upset they become, you will not be classed as disobedient. If you obey their commands, you will be disobeying Allah Almighty.

Likewise, if one’s parents are divorced, and the mother tells you not to visit your father, such a command must not be obeyed. You must visit your father and serve him. The parents may be