Good Manners
Wasim Abbas Attari
Manners and morals reflect an individual’s true personality and play a vital role in how others behave towards the person. Good morals help one traverse the ranks of honour. In other words, there is a direct link between rank and good morals whereby it is expected that the more highly ranked a person is, the greater morals he will possess.
The highest ranking being in Allah’s creation is the Final Messenger of Allah صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. The above mentioned principle therefore warrants that he صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم possess the loftiest morals and manners, far greater than anyone else, which serve as an exemplary model for the rest of us.
Good manners are much more than mere outward protocols, dealing with others, and discipline in self-care; they include high inner traits such as courtesy, respect, appropriateness, patience, forgiving others, forbearance, and affection.
The Final Messenger of Allah صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم was an embodiment of all these characteristics, in addition to many more. In fact, good manners attained a recognition through the blessed manners of the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. Sayyiduna Jabir رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ narrates that the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم has stated: ‘Allah Almighty sent me to accomplish the ranks of morals, and to accomplish the excellences of good deeds,’ (Sharh Al-Sunnah, vol. 7, p. 9, Hadith: 3516).
The Quran also talks about the matchless manners of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم in many places. For example, Allah Almighty states:
وَ اِنَّكَ لَعَلٰى خُلُقٍ عَظِیْمٍ(۴)
‘And (O Beloved), your (excellent) character is undoubtedly of a superb standard.’
[Kanz-ul-Iman (translation of Quran)] (Part 29, Surah Al-Qalam, Verse 4)
In this verse, Allah Almighty talks about the impeccable character of His Beloved صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. The second verse of this chapter refutes the allegation of the disbelievers that the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم was مَـعَـاذَ الـلّٰـه insane. Commenting on this verse, Allamah Ali b. Muhammad Khaazin رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه remarks: ‘This verse (68:4) is as if it is the commentary of:
مَاۤ اَنْتَ بِنِعْمَةِ رَبِّكَ بِمَجْنُوْنٍۚ(۲)
‘With the Benevolence of your Lord, (O Beloved) you are not insane.’
[Kanz-ul-Iman (translation of Quran)] (Part 29, Surah Al-Qalam, Verse 2)
Because the praiseworthy character and impeccable manners of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم were evident from his noble personality, therefore, it is not correct to associate insanity with someone who possesses such grandeur,’ (Khaazin, Surah Al-Qalam, under verse 4, vol. 4, p. 294).
Under the same verse, the Imam of Ahl al-Sunnah, Imam Ahmad Raza Khan رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه writes: ’Allah Almighty says,
وَ اِنَّكَ لَعَلٰى خُلُقٍ عَظِیْمٍ(۴)
‘And (O Beloved), your (excellent) character is undoubtedly of a superb standard.’
[Kanz-ul-Iman (translation of Quran)] (Part 29, Surah Al-Qalam, Verse 4)
i.e., as in not only forbearance and patience, but every single characteristic of yours is so impeccable that the characters of the most elite intellectuals of the entire world collectively do not equate to even an iota of it, so who is more blind than the one who remembers you with such words,’ (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 30, pp. 164, 165).
Sayyiduna Hisham b. Sa’d رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ relates:
I asked Sayyidatuna Aisha al-Siddiqah رَضِیَ الـلّٰـهُ عَنْهَا, ‘Mother of believers! Tell me about the character of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم.’ To which she replied: ‘Do you not recite the Quran?’ I responded: ‘Of course’ So, she said: ‘The Quran is actually the khuluq (i.e. the character) of the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم,’ (Muslim: 139(746)).
Allamah Ismail Haqqi رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه, the author of the renowned Quranic commentary Ruh al-Bayan, beautifully delineates the character of the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم in the following words:
The character of the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم was the epitome of all noble characteristics. Allah Almighty granted him the gratitude of Sayyiduna Nuh عَـلَيْـهِ الـسَّـلَام, the intimate friendship of Sayyiduna Ibrahim عَـلَيْـهِ الـسَّـلَام, the sincerity of Sayyiduna Musa عَـلَيْـهِ الـسَّـلَام, the veracity of the promise of Sayyiduna Ismail عَـلَيْـهِ الـسَّـلَام, the patience of Sayyiduna Ya’qoob and Sayyiduna Ayyub عَـلَيْـهِما الـسَّـلَام, the prayer of Sayyiduna Dawood عَـلَيْـهِ الـسَّـلَام, the humility of Sayyiduna Sulayman and Sayyiduna Isa عَـلَيْـهِما الـسَّـلَام, and the qualities of all the Prophets عَـلَـيْهِمُ السَّلَام. This is the station which has been granted to only the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, (Ruh Al-Bayan, (Al-Quran, 68:4), vol. 10, p. 106).
A person’s character is truly tested when dealing with his staff or those less fortunate than him. Many people fail this test, falling prey to pride and conceit. But the supreme example left by the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم is a bastion of affection and kindness towards everyone.
Sayyiduna Zayd b. Haritha رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ was the slave of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. When his father and uncle came to the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم to free him by paying ransom, the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم left it to Sayyiduna Zayd b. Haritha رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ to decide whether he wanted to go with them or not. So Sayyiduna Zayd b. Haritha رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ was called, and after he recognised his father and uncle, the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said to him that it is up to you if you want to stay with me or go with them. Sayyiduna Zayd رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ said: ‘How can I prioritise someone over you? You are in place of my father as well as my uncle.’ His father and uncle asked him: ‘Zayd! You prioritise slavery over freedom? You prioritise living as a slave instead of living with your father, uncle, and rest of the family?’ He answered: ‘Yes. I cannot prioritise anything over him due to what I have seen in him.’ The Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم then remarked: ‘I have made him my son.’ His father and uncle were delighted and happily left him there,’ (Al-Isaabah, vol. 2, p. 495).
Unparalleled forgiveness was central to the Prophet’s nature. Despite having the right to avenge himself on moral and ethical grounds, he صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم readily forgave those who wronged him. ‘After the Expedition of Badr, the beloved daughter of the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, Sayyidatuna Zaynab رَضِیَ الـلّٰـهُ عَنْهَا was sent to Madinah by her husband, Abul ‘Aas. When the Quraysh of Makkah found out about this, they pursued her, intercepting her at a place called Zi Tuwaa. Hibar b. al-Aswad struck her with a spear, causing her to fall of the camel and have a miscarriage,’ (Seerat-e-Nabawiyyah li-Ibn Hishaam, p. 271).
We know too well what the reaction of a father in this situation would be; and it would be largely justified. Yet, our Merciful Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, driven by compassion, responded very differently.
Sayyiduna Jubayr b. Mut’im رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ states:
I was sitting by the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم while returning from Ji’rana. All of a sudden, Hibar b. al-Aswad entered. The honourable Companions said: ‘Prophet of Allah صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم! He is Hibar b. Al-Aswad.’ The Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم responded: ‘I saw him.’ I got up to kill him but the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم made him sit down. Coming close to the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, Hibar said: ‘Prophet of Allah صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم! May peace be upon you. I bear witness that none is worthy of worship except Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم is the Messenger of Allah. Running away from you, I fled to many cities, thinking of going to non-Arab states, but then I recalled your kind-heartedness, how well you treat your relatives, and your hallmark of forgiving your enemies. Prophet of Allah صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم! We were polytheists. Allah Almighty guided us through you and granted us salvation from destruction. Please forgive me for my ignorance and every such thing of mine that reached you. I acknowledge all my ill-deeds and confess to all my sins.’ The Merciful Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم remarked: ‘I have forgiven you. Allah Almighty has favoured you by guiding you through Islam, and Islam erases all previous sins,’ (Al-Asabah, vol. 6, pp. 412, 413).
Where in the history would we find such an exemplary character? How often do we see someone forgiving the others despite having the power and justification to take revenge? Such a display is seldom witnessed, but it can be frequently seen throughout the blessed life of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم.
These were only a few examples and traits of the impeccable character of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. Otherwise, the annals of history testify in the loudest voice to his lofty manners. We should reflect and internalise the impeccable character of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, for that will lead to a prosperous life in this world and perpetual success in the Hereafter.
Dear Allah Almighty! For the sake of the flawless character of Your Beloved صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, beautify our character, and enable us to tread the path of success and salvation.
اٰمِیْن بِجَاہِ النَّبِیِّ الْاَمِیْن صَلَّی اللہ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلہٖ وَسَلَّم
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