14 Sunan and Manners of Talking

Talking to people is a part and parcel of our daily life and a basic necessity. In fact, we keep running our mouths unnecessarily as well despite the fact that talking unnecessarily can prove to be quite detrimental. It is better to remain silent than talking uselessly. Hence, today, we will learn a little bit about the practice of the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم with regards to speaking, manners of speaking and the excellence of remaining quiet:

1. The Beloved Prophet صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم used to speak steadily in such a beautiful way that the listener would easily memorize his words. Hence, the mother of all believers Sayyidatuna Aisha Siddiqa رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہَا states that the Noble Messenger صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم would speak so clearly and distinguishably that every listener would memorize it.

(Musnad Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal)

2. Talk to people politely with a smile on your face. Speak in a compassionate tone with the young and in a respectful tone with the elders. If Allah wills, you will be respected by both.

3. Talking loudly and yelling as friends do in gatherings these days is inappropriate and poor etiquette.

4. High-fiving each other while having a conversation is also inappropriate since clapping and whistling are merely forms of amusement and diversion and a practice of the disbelievers.

(Tafsir -e- Naeemi)

5. Do not pick your nose or scratch the inside of your ears with your finger or spit in front of someone when you are talking to them as this is also inappropriate and the other person finds it gross.

6. Listen calmly when someone is talking. Never interrupt anyone and let them finish before you start talking.

7. If someone has a stutter in his speech, do not imitate or mimic him to ridicule him as it might hurt his feelings.

8. Never laugh out loud or chortle while having a conversation as the Noble Messenger صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم never laughed out loud.

(Mir’at -ul- Manajih)

A person loses his grace and elegance by talking excessively and laughing constantly.

9. The Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم said:

إِذَا رَأَيْتُمُ الرَّجُلَ قَدْ أُعْطِيَ زُهْدًا فِي الدُّنْيَا وَقِلَّةَ مَنْطِقٍ فَاقْتَرِبُوا مِنْهُ فَإِنَّهُ يُلَقَّى الْحِكْمَةَ

“If you see a man who has been given indifference with regard to this world and who speaks little, then draw close to him for wisdom descends upon him.”

(Sunan Ibn -e- Maja)

Another blessed Hadith states:

مَنْ صَمَتَ نَجَا

“Whoever remains silent has been saved.”

(Jami Al-Tirmidhi)

10. There should always be a proper reason for talking to someone and always talk according to the mentality, intellect and level of understanding of the listener. There is an Arabic saying that:

کلِّموا الناسَ علٰی قدرِ عُقولِھم

“Talk to people as per their intellect.”

It means that such things should not be said which are beyond their understanding. Words should also be clear, simple and easily understandable. Difficult words should not be used as it will only serve to convince them of your eloquence and academic prowess, but they will not understand a word of the actual message you were trying to convey.

11. Always control your tongue from speaking evil. Sayyiduna Uqba bin Aamir رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہ reports:

قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا النَّجَاةُ قَالَ ‏أَمْسِكْ عَلَيْكَ لِسَانَكَ وَلْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ وَابْكِ عَلَى خَطِيئَتِكَ

“I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! What is salvation?' He said: That you control your tongue, suffice yourself your house, and cry over your sins.”

12. If we use our tongue in the right manner, the whole body will reap its benefits and if the tongue slips and swears at someone for example, the tongue may not be harmed but other body parts may have to suffer a beating. Sayyiduna Abu Saeed Khudri رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہ narrates that the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم said:

إِذَا أَصْبَحَ ابْنُ آدَمَ فَإِنَّ الأَعْضَاءَ كُلَّهَا تُكَفِّرُ اللِّسَانَ فَتَقُولُ اتَّقِ اللَّهَ فِينَا فَإِنَّمَا نَحْنُ بِكَ فَإِنِ اسْتَقَمْتَ اسْتَقَمْنَا وَإِنِ اعْوَجَجْتَ اعْوَجَجْنَا

“When the son of Adam wakes up in the morning, all of his body parts bow to the tongue and say: Fear Allah regarding us, for we are part of you. If you are straight we are straight and if you are crooked we are crooked.”

(Jami Al-Tirmidhi)

13. Constantly joking around and roasting each other may cost you your friendship. Sayyiduna Umar bin Abdul Aziz رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہ says: Do not joke around and ridicule each other as it gives way to hatred and the foundation of bad deeds is thereby established in the heart.

(Kimia -e- Sa’adat)

14. Always refrain from badmouthing and talking immodestly. Avoid swearing and remember that it is Haram (forbidden) to swear at your brother. (Fatawa Ridawiyyah). And those who talk immodestly will be forbidden to enter Paradise. The Beloved and Blessed Prophet صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم said: Paradise is forbidden for the one who talks shamelessly and immorally.

(Kimia -e- Sa’adat)

May the Most Merciful Allah Almighty enable us to follow the Sunan and manners of speaking and grant us the ability to enjoin good and forbid evil and to spread the call towards righteousness!