Nurturing of Children by Father

Islam has given the father a prominent and distinguished status. A father is such a great blessing for his children that its example is not found. However, where Islam has highlighted the respect and importance of a father, it has also given some responsibilities to him as a father. One of the most important responsibilities of a father is ‘to give his children a good upbringing’.

Children’s Upbringing from their Childhood!

Being heedless, a person feels that his child is very young and innocent now; he cannot distinguish between good and bad; let him grow up a bit more, then I will start teaching him manners. Such a father should not wait, rather, he must pay lots of attention to the upbringing of his child from his childhood, because the early years of a child play a vital role in the improvement for the rest of his life.

Whatever good and bad thing a child learns at a very young age, remains in his mind throughout his life.

Whatever good and bad thing a child learns at a very young age, remains in his mind throughout his life. If a child gets into the habit of making Salam; eating; drinking; sitting; wearing shoes and clothes etc. according to the Sunnah, then not only will they continue to have these good habits, but these good attributes will also become the habit of those children who spend their time in his company. In this way, even after becoming a grown-up, he will continue to be inclined towards good deeds and will hate sins.

Remember! Righteous children are great blessings for parents . Ambiya Kiraam عَـلَـيْهِ الـصَّلٰوةُ وَالـسَّلَام also used to make Du’a to Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ for righteous children, as the Beloved Nabi of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ ,Sayyiduna Zakariyya عَـلَـيْهِ الـصَّلٰوةُ وَالـسَّلَام made Du’a for righteous children like this:

رَبِّ ہَبۡ لِیۡ مِنۡ لَّدُ نۡکَ ذُرِّیَّۃً طَیِّبَۃً ۚ اِنَّکَ سَمِیۡعُ الدُّعَآءِ

Translation from Kanz-ul-Iman: My Lord! Give me from yourself a righteous child; indeed You only are the Listener of Prayer. (Part 3, Aal-e-‘Imran, Ayah 38) Just ponder, how great blessing are righteous children, even the Ambiya Kiraam عَـلَـيْهِ الـصَّلٰوةُ وَالـسَّلَام made Du’a for righteous children. Righteous children give comfort and pleasure to their parents. In their childhood, they become a joy for the parents, a coolness to the eyes in their youth and support by serving them in their old age. All these things are possible when a father gives his children a Madani upbringing according to Islamic values and rules by exercising his responsibility. But unfortunately, today in our society, a father, instead of giving his child Islamic education and teaching him manners, he is more worried about giving him worldly education so that he can become a famous person and earn a lot of money. Perhaps, it is because of this reason that the good manners and character of our new generation has been destroyed.

There is no respect for the young and the elderly. The rights of relatives, neighbours, ordinary Muslims even parents are also being violated.

Today, the son, for whose bright future his father spent a lot of money, considers his father worthless and useless after his retirement. He even considers insignificant things of his father to be extremely bad. Sometimes these spoilt children do not let this old father live with them and admit him into an old house where he lives a miserable life away from his own home and finally meets death. If the father is rich and becomes old, then these young children quarrel with him and abuse him in order to get his property registered in their own names. Sometimes, for the sake of money and property they even cross all the limits of cruelty and do not avoid killing their parents. Surely, one of the main reasons for all these things is not giving children a Madani upbringing according to Islamic rules. It will be good for the worldly life and the Hereafter of parents if they give their children a good upbringing according to the Shari’ah and Sunnah from the very beginning.
The Beloved and Blessed Rasool Muhammad صَلَّى اللهُ تَعَالٰى عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم has said: Treat your children well and try to teach them good manners.

(Sunan Ibn Majah, vol. 4, pp. 189, Hadees 3671)

Likewise, it is stated in another blessed Hadees, ‘No father has given anything to his child that is better than good manners.’

(Sunan-ut-Tirmizi, pp. 383, vol. 3, Hadees 1959)

Righteous Children are Helpful for Parents in the Grave

Surely, righteous children are beneficial for parents even after their death. The Beloved Rasool صَلَّى اللهُ تَعَالٰى عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم has said, ‘When a person dies, then all his deeds are discontinued except for three deeds – (1) Permanent source of Divine reward (2) the knowledge by which benefit can be obtained from and (3) the righteous children who make Du’a for him.’

(Sahih Muslim, pp. 886, Hadees 1631; Khaza`in-ul-‘Irfan, pp. 593)

Who will be Answerable to Whom?

Remember! If we do not give our children a good upbringing due to our heedlessness, we will be accountable for this in the court of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ on the Day of Judgement . The Beloved Rasool صَلَّى اللهُ تَعَالٰى عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم has said: All of you are Nigrans (custodians) and everyone will be asked about his dependants/ subjects/subordinates. The king is a Nigran (custodian) who will be asked about his subjects. A man is the Nigran (custodian) of his family. He will be asked about his family. A woman is the Nigran (custodian) of the house of her husband and his offspring. She will be asked about them.

(Sahih Bukhari, vol. 2, pp. 159, Hadees 2554)

Now the condition of children’s education and upbringing is that instead of providing them with Islamic education, parents do not feel ashamed in providing them with education in the environments of western-cultured institutions of coeducation.
Remember, the bad deeds of parents, love for western culture and the violation of moral values in the name of enlightenment are surely some of the biggest reasons for children being spoilt and rebellious.
Therefore, parents should firstly correct their own practices, offer Salah and observe Siyam regularly, love the Sunnahs of the Beloved Rasool صَلَّى اللهُ تَعَالٰى عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم and try to act upon them. When our children find us occupied with good deeds, they will also be inclined towards them, اِنْ شَــآءَالـلّٰـه عَزَّوَجَلَّ .

The benefit of giving an Islamic upbringing to children will bring comfort and peace, respect and honour in this world and in the Hereafter, and then not only shall we be released from the responsibility of children’s upbringing in the court of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ by His mercy, but we will also gain reward, اِنْ شَــآءَالـلّٰـه عَزَّوَجَلَّ .

May Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ enable us to act upon them!

اٰمِيۡن بِجَاهِ النَّبِيِّ الۡاَمِيۡن صَلَّى اللّٰهُ تَعَالٰى عَلَيۡهِ وَاٰلِه وَسَلَّم

صَلُّوۡا عَلَى الۡحَبِيۡب صَلَّى اللّٰهُ تَعَالٰى عَلٰى مُحَمَّد