Book of Life


Abu Rajab Attari Madani

Impressions have a great importance in our social and religious affairs. Whoever has a more positive and better impression, he will be able to do better work in his field. He will also protect his own self-esteem and people will also get relief from him. Whoever has a negative impression, people will be reluctant to come near him, his self-esteem will be damaged, and he will also not be able to run his affairs properly.

When a person climbs a mountain, he usually slips on small pebbles and not on large boulders, so it is very important to take care of small things to make an impression. In this article, I have tried to identify 25 such things briefly which play a big role in shaping our positive or negative impression.

1.   The first sight of those we meet falls on our outward being, so our appearance is our first introduction to what thoughts, attitudes, and temperament we have. If our clothes, shoes, hair, and hat or Imamah, etc. are clean, neat, and fragrant, it will leave a good impression on others. Otherwise, our self-esteem may be affected.

2.   Our speech is the interpreter of our thinking, with the help of which others can glimpse inside us to see what kind of mind we have. Someone has beautifully said, ‘Speak so that you can be recognised.’ The more civilised, polite, and gentle our speaking style is, the better the impression will be on the person in front of us.

3.   Just as our tongue speaks, other parts of the body such as the hands, feet, eyes, head, etc., also speak  i.e. in the form of body language. The way we sit, listen, walk, and see, the gestures of our hands and feet, and our facial expressions also explain to others whether we consider them important or unimportant. Are we happy or unhappy to meet them? Are we feeling joy or discomfort with them? Therefore, we should take care of our body language.

4.   A smile is also a great aspect of any personality which leaves a pleasant impression on others. A smile can also become the basis of a new relationship. People usually do not face a person with a weeping and angry face.

5.   Lay the foundation of new relationships on character and sincerity instead of wealth and status.  Otherwise, those who abandon a person when he loses wealth and status are remembered as selfish by society.

6.   Encouragement is needed for everyone from an infant to a 100-year-old. Do not shy away from appreciating someone around you who does something good.

7.   Everyone knows how to speak but only a few know how to listen. No one likes to be interrupted. So first listen to what others have to say, and then speak yourself.

8.   If someone gets angry with you, then try to seek forgiveness as soon as possible in case you are at fault, because delay in reconciliation also increases anger.

9.   People around you want your attention; do not weaken your impression by ignoring them.

10.   A person always remembers if he gets sympathy and encouragement in the time of trouble and difficulty. Do not waste this important opportunity due to laziness.

11.   The habit of getting angry at every offensive thing can make people uninterested in you. Make it a habit to keep yourself cool.

12.   If you want to lower your respect in someone's heart, then remind them of your favour. But do not do anything like this. Sometimes a person reminds another of a favour in such a way that he himself does not even know that he is doing so. For example, a student sets out to drop the teacher to his city in his new car. The student says unintentionally, ‘I thought you would be humiliated on buses, so I would drop you.’ The teacher disliked it and said, ‘Son, I have been humiliated before in buses. What is the big deal if I get humiliated today too?’ How embarrassed was the student to hear this? This does not need to be explained.

13.   Giving and receiving gifts increases mutual love, but this can also decrease by asking the price of the gift. Similarly, do not decrease the importance of the gift by saying, ‘I got it for myself, but it does not fit me. That is why I am giving it to you’. What will the other person think after hearing this? Think for yourself.

14.   There are not many amongst us who are punctual. And there are very few who bother to apologise for being late. But people always like the one who is punctual. You should also adopt this virtue.

15.   To fulfil a promise makes our character good. But it is well known that people do not fulfil promises. Fulfil the promise even if it is for a small thing. If you cut off the phone by telling someone on the phone that I will call you back, that person will remain waiting. But if you do not even apologise for not fulfilling the promise, then what kind of impression will you leave on that person? Consider this.

16.   Everyone has a phone, but few know how to use it properly. What if the person you called is going to get on the train or bus, climb the stairs, be in an important meeting, or is busy with a customer? We do not even bother to understand his engagement but rather start conversing non-stop as if he were holding the phone only for us. If in the beginning, he is asked if it is possible to talk for two or three minutes, and then we continue if he agrees, a good image of your personality will be established.

17.   While living together, we have some expectations from each other. If we keep its level positive, then it is better for everyone because not having expectations at all or having high expectations causes distress to others. For example, if you tell your son that you don't expect him to have any success in life or you say that no matter what, he has to come first in the whole university, now he will come under pressure which is not a good thing.

18.   We should talk while considering the interests of others because if someone is stuck with a personal problem of illness or unemployment or financial hardship, does he care whether glaciers are melting in some part of the world or not? Or how long will such and such a government last?

19.   Avoid asking someone to give you something because the giver does not give with happiness, but rather with reluctancy. Man is usually not happy with the person who uses a vehicle, mobile, etc. after asking for it.

20.   Whether he will be staying for one hour or one week, do not pressure the guest by insistently asking him to stay for longer. Some people even become upset and trouble the guest for not staying longer and also spoil their impression.

21.   It is well-known that you decrease your value when you visit somewhere too often. If it is not necessary, then meeting after intervals makes a relationship lasting and valuable.

22.   Avoid baseless criticism and ridicule, they sever love.

23.   ‘Do not do this, do not do it like that.’ No one likes to hear this over and over again, so avoid scolding someone again and again. If necessary, there is no harm in sitting down once and explaining gently.

24.   It is written in many shops: ‘Borrowing is the scissor of love.’ Avoid borrowing money from someone with whom you want to build a relationship, and if you have to borrow, pay it back on time.

25.   Man's childhood consists of some things that he does not like to repeat after growing up, such as his nose running uncontrollably, getting drenched in the mud, getting scolded by his mother while bathing, and so on! In any case, do not disgrace an honourable person by reminding him of his past. Do not say look at how honourable you have become now but you are the same person who was punished in a humiliating way by the gardener as you stole mangoes from the garden or how you were beaten for picking radishes from the field or how you used to wear dirty clothes in childhood and now you have become such a suited and booted person. Avoid these types of things, otherwise, once the impression becomes bad, it is even more difficult to improve it again.

May Allah Almighty help us to adopt the virtues that improve our character!

اٰمِیْن بِجَاہِ النَّبِیِّ الْاَمِیْن صلَّی اللہ علیہ واٰلہٖ وسلَّم




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