Parents’ Corner
Self-Control
Mawlana Asif Jahanzeb Attari Madani
Children bring immense happiness to a household. They exude a vibrant and carefree energy, inhabiting a realm untouched by fear and worry. When they desire something, they instinctively turn to their parents, and if their request is denied, their persistence intensifies, often accompanied by tears. In such moments, parents face a choice: to grant their child’s wish or guide them with firm words of admonishment.
According to our current understanding of child psychology, immediately fulfilling or denying a child’s demands affects their level of self-control.
Every parent is familiar with the scenario of their child making requests. How we handle these situations significantly influences the development of their self-control. In this article, we will explore effective ways for parents to respond to their child's demands, fostering the growth of self-control and positively shaping their personality.
Encourage Patience
The first step is to give your child an opportunity to exercise patience, instead of fulfilling their request immediately. If your child develops a habit of being patient and tolerant, it will improve their level of self-control.
Advise your Children
If your child asks you for something, talk to them in a good manner about the need for and importance of the request and suggest alternatives too. After some time when these matters are cleared, you can fulfil the child’s request. There are many benefits of doing this:
* The child will have a habit of re-evaluating his decisions.
* They will develop the skill of exploring alternative options.
* They will have the ability to make good decisions.
* If this procedure is followed, traits of patience and gratefulness will be instilled within them.
Change Their Focus
If your child asks for something that is of no use or harmful, divert their attention to something else. For example, when you are shopping and pass by children’s toys, turn away from that area and walk elsewhere, so your child does not become stubborn. This principle can be applied in many aspects of life.
Freedom of Choice
If a child asks for something acceptable, present him with additional options, so they have the freedom to choose between different things. When they select an option, ask them why they made that decision, as this will improve their decision-making capabilities. If the child is unable to explain the reasoning behind their choice, you can teach them the benefits yourself. This will encourage your child to be logical instead of using their feelings as a deciding factor.
It is important to inculcate good habits in your children, as it will benefit them when they grow older. Following these methods will improve your child’s self-control, protect them from seeking instant gratification, and improve their decision-making skills. However, you will only see results if you follow these tips regularly for a long period of time.
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